For the life I live, I couldnt love for a day more.

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 10:33:27 GMT

Twirling, frowning.

-

Today in school I was happy. (:
Practicals are always fun & funny when we get to fool around, stupid cock!
Haha. I love schooldays that are veh slack!

Went home straight after school with Hester.
Had my haircut at my usual (& favourite) salon, now my hair's quite short ):
Then was on my way to get my IC done!
Got very pissed off with the lady taking my IC photo, tsk.

Nevertheless, had it over and done with, dad bought me ice cream and fetched me home!
At night, chomp chomppppxz.
And later later in the night, probably Mahjong, I see big bucks rolling innn!
Wooo :D

Oh and everybody's asking me the same thing in school, all surprised that I do read.
Oi I have alwaysss been into books okay!
Hahaha, and now everybody's lining up behind me for the book :D
Oh man, the story is pretty gruesome though...

Okay, you shall read it for yourself :}

I miss going out with my ladies, yeah, every single one of them :(

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 01:31:27 GMT

I got myself caught up in a book, "The Red Dahlia".
I seldom get engrossed in books about murder cases, so it shows how nice this one is :)

Hmm, after school yesterday, I had lunch with Sheryl.
been really long since I last went out with her :D

Met Rochelle and Jasmine at Ps after that.
Jasmine went off and we went Clarke Quay and sat at our favourite spot. (:
Home before 10pm! [:

In school now but Miss Alvina aint here,
so three free periodsssssssss, yaye!

Just this weird distance in between,
Just this mindset that keeps me wondering and pondering,
Just this thought that keeps me away from everything else but you.
):

I dont know what else to say cause I feel that nobody understands at all ):

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:13:24 GMT

Every single day I think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears we've cried
It's never too late to make it right

-

Sentosa on Saturday was coooooool, got my portion of muscle aches too. ):
Swam for many hours and played beachball with the guys. [:
Met Jasmine and went over to her house, went home and reached at around 12am.
Gervais gave me a call and surprised me, he came over to meet me till around 1plus.
Spent time catching up on each others' lifes, he walked me home after that. (:
Initially I had many things to blog about, but now, I forgot all of them.

Okays nevermind, I went church on Sunday although my entire body was aching like madzxzx.
Because of Andrew la ):
Wet Plaza Sing with Rosa to get her book, and walked around Ps alone ._.
Till around 8pm, met my Sis for dinner.

Today, went school at only 9plus.
Was supposed to serve detention, but I escaped (:

I was thinking of changing my url cause of some personal reasons, dont like it when everybody (happened at least 5 times already)asks/teases/bothers me about my posts and what they meant.
Like walao, my life leh ):
Im not directing this at anyone, really.
I know its cause yall care, but sometimes you know, it gets annoying.

And oh yeah, thanks Gervais for all :)

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 07:52:37 GMT

Thanks for all those times {:

-

Last night was a stupid waste of our time.
Spent like more than an hour deciding on where to go, only to leave Rochelle's house at around 1am.
Got to Jalan Kayu on feet, had my cheese prata. [:
Did stupid things after that (you shall not know what),
and ended up having Macs breakfast at Kovan.
Shared cab and home at 5am.

No idea where am I going later, but definitely not home.

1) I want to go night cycling.
2) I want to go Sentosa.
3) I want to catch a horror movie.
4) I want to go Och (not like I can, this time of the month just aint right).
5) I want to go for a swim, then spend a long time in the sauna room at 120 degrees. (actually I cant too ; refer to #4.)
6) I want to eat Jalan Kayu's cheese prata.
7) I want to lose weight.
8) I dont want to think about my 70% attendance required for the year.
9) I dont want to think of books.
10) I want to continue writing my long poems and long life stories in my diary.
11) I want to listen to happier songs. (maybe not love songs)
12) I want to go Dxo :(
13) I want Hester to teach me how to **.

I've been listening to this song for at least 20 times in a row, but each time it still fails to bring out what I really am thinking.

"If ever you walk away, dont return."
You will turn back and find me silly no more.

~~I feel like a fool :(~~

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 13:45:21 GMT

D X O !

Sugar Rushhh

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 04:39:28 GMT

Yesterday was good!
In school I was really happy cause those girls made my day :D
Thanks to everybody who wished me!
And all who spent time/money on me.
Love you all a million :)

Cabbed to Xms after school, spent time with all.
Went Rollie's house to gamble, met Rochelle after that.
Cabbed to compass, sat at starbucks.
They played a stupid prank on me that gave me a scare :(
Found out about it later on and they lighted a candle on 12 vehveh pretty cupcakes! (I've no idea why 12, but yeah..)
A pity I didnt have time to think of what wish I would make, regretted wishing for another 3 wishes from God.
Cause I do the same every year, but its like the wishes are no longer useful!
Anyway,
Thank you vehveh much (:

Jasmine had to go, so me and Rochelle bus-ed to Changi.
Sat at the beach for a long time, chatting about life.
Its been 5 years, so for 1/3 of my life, she was my bestfriend. (:
Cabbed to Changi airport of Popeye, yaye.
Bused to Hougang mall, and cabbed home from there.

Home at 1am, woke up at 11am :x
I did make an effort to get out of bed, but I've been getting very little sleep for the past few days, so hmm..

Going out to meet Jasmine later for yet another round of scamming MC.
Stupid doctors are earning big bucks.

Always know I'd be at your show.
Carrying you high when you fall. (:

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 13:27:40 GMT

"In each of our lives, we will never be perfect, but we can be complete."

And you know very well, your love would be the only thing that could make me whole.

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 11:33:38 GMT

I hope tomorrow would be great.
Lets see if I wishes Dwayne first, or if he wishes me first :)
I need a steady kaki manz.

Shit you crampz.

Sat, 15 Mar 2008 13:02:34 GMT

At my Auntie's house now, had my fill of banana / chocolate muffins and pizza :D

Met Rosa yesterday, shopped around Bugis, went Haji lane to explore. :)
Quite alot of vintage stuffs, I bought small sling bag and she bought her present!
Really low price than usual. (:

Trained to Plaza Sing, Rosa had to leave.
It was only 7.30, so I called many up, looking desperately for some company...
And it was then, I chanced upon Malcolm, Xavier and Houyi(?)!
Bought tickets for Step Up 2, 11.30 slot.
Had plenty of time for us to idle, walked over to Parklane for Pool.
On our way, saw Dwayne & his friends, gathered more people to catch movie together! [:

Step up 2 was good :]
Movie ended at 1.30.

Walked from Dhoby allllllllllllllllllllll the way to Kovan! (YES PURELY ON FOOT AND OUR OWN SENSE OF DIRECTION)
Reached Kovan at 4.30am, I had my big breakfast at Macs :D
Slacked till 6am, cabbed to Rochelle's house.
Talked alot throughout :)

Slept for a couple of hours, woke up at 11plus.
Trained to Cityhall, church service was productiveee.
Came here straight after that.

Would be going late night slacking/loitering with sis tonight.
Haha, think she needs a listening ear badly.

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 04:14:50 GMT

Thanks for making it so obvious,
cause it lets me know that Im no longer affected by it.

All I did was to smile, and know that I've been really stupid.
But Im glad I no longer can shed a tear more for you.

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 03:43:33 GMT

Old photo, I miss this girl lotsa :D

...

Yesterday's highlight was dinner at Chomp Chomp :)
Vehvehveh fattening, but satisfying!
Shit I thought I just set a new goal to lose weight...
Okay nevermind, there's always tomorrow!
Heeheehee.

Kays, so later would either be going shopping with sis (I shall force her to buy my birthday gift),
Or we will be going to have sauna round #2!
Woooooo.

Cock called me yesterday (what a surprise) and asked me to Sentosa tomorrow,
Walao I dont want to tan anymore leh :(
See how see how loh ;]

Behind me, is the past that hurts so bad.
But ahead of me, I know there will definitely be something embracing.
[:

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 04:20:13 GMT

Bestfriends, longtime, lifetime. [:

...

Bought things and met up with the guys.
13 of us went caught 10 000 BC,
yeah it was good, but as said by Rochelle, the ending was abit stupid.
Celebrated Freddy's birthday, cake fight but only two or three kenna.
Happy Birthday Freddies! :)

Spent quite alot of time discussing where to go next.
Went over to Freddy's house in the end, had a few rounds of Mahjong while the rest played poker.
Cabbed to Rochelle'd house at around 1plus.

Cupcakes wasnt too good (as expected), but I still gave it to my sis and her boyfriend.
HAHAHA.

Lobanged Rochelle's cab home around 4plus yesterday,
changed and rushed out again.

Dinner was great, home at almost 12am.

Wanted to go out for billard or mahjong but in the end everything was cancelled.
Not a very bad idea cause I was rather deprived of rest.
Tugged myself into bed and met monster zzz quite immediately :D

Today, either catching Step Up 2 with Tomato salad dressing man, or meeting up with Jasmine. (:
But everytime I've plenty of programs for the day, will end up having one by one cancelled. -.-
Hope wont be staying home in the end today.

Oh yeah Im feeling much better now, sometimes I like staying over at Rochelle's house cause it somehow somehow (you dont have to know how), just lets me feel less affected.
[:
Thanks friend.

Wey Im putting on weight, shit.

Now that You're gone, everyday is so unclear, I've ran out of tears.

Mon, 10 Mar 2008 04:27:30 GMT

I looked back and whispered a prayer,
Hoping you would be happy in whatever you do.

Thanks Sis, although Im no longer as important in your heart, but I wish we could still count on one another.
Just like before.
I know you'll see this.

...

Been missing out a large part on blogging, comp was down and was sent for repair :)
Darn it, I couldnt upload pics from my phone into my comp cause all the softwares are deleted :(

OK, so for the past few days, life's passing fast each day.
Been going out every single day,
Let me summarise.
Scam MC, Slack, Flag Day, Swimming, Sauna (80degrees!), Mahjong.

Days ahead :
Cupcakes, Stayover, Slack, Formal dinner, Class gathering, Movies.

Not much time left to worry for redundant matters, and in no time, school's gonna start once again ):
Gotta restraint myself from skipping school all the time.
Gotta lose weight.
Gotta mug.

All my goals seem pretty impossible, but thats what goals are for. (:

I miss drinking.
Feels like I need something to fill meee.
Ahh dang it.

Will be meeting Rochelle later or cupcakes, and lots of catching up I hope :]

Rewinding old times,
Thats recollecting those familiar emotions.
Im still willing to do plenty for you,
I've said so before.
You Silly Girl.

But more or less, able to get you out of my mind for a couple of hours a day, thats some improvement at least. (:

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 01:53:02 GMT

A sense of freedom and joy, a sigh of relief.
That was how I thought I would feel, but yet, I have never expected myself to be overwhelmed with such a great feeling of insecurity.
I feel lost.
And scared, of whats ahead of me, of how wrong I might have been perceiving my thoughts.

I am over You.
I think.

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 11:50:31 GMT

There's no need to pretend, its evident Im lost without your love.

Pondering, wondering.
Would there be a next time I'll feel you so, if ever in my life I would get to hold you close once more.
Just that once, would mean everything to me.
Yes I had been stupid, I know Im going nowhere but that how much I no longer have a grasp on myself.

...

Nobody likes our Chinese teacher, not me at least.
You've gotta earn our respect, there's no point demanding for it, we wont be convinced just cause you tell us you're some very stupidly qualified lecturer.
Even though we wasnt really so serious in Yang Laoshi's class in the past also, but at least we dare to say that he's got our respect.
And I wouldnt mind pretending to listen in his class to make him a lil happier, but for you, I cant even be bothered.
Hate it especially when you have to defame our class, or whats worst, our school.

Okay enough of all that, PE was hilarious.
Love my babes alot, fooled around so much :)

After school, was brought to see Mr Chang (Dm), and he said I would have to serve 6 1/2 hours of detention.
Walao aye, I cant stand it, at least if he gave me a better reason why I had to do it I wouldnt complain.
But its just so absurd ):

After school, went Rivervale Mall with babes and had my lunch there, met Jasmine at Cp. :]
Slacked around, home at 6plus.

Oh, and I hate my current phone very much. :/

Could have loved for a million years.

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 13:18:05 GMT

It doesnt hurt anymore.
Anymore like before.

I've been trying to keep myself very ocupied, but I doubt it helps actually.
Hmm, so yeah, didnt catch my movie on Friday night.
Instead, went to Sis's friend's house for Mahjong.
Lost abit, home at only 5am.
(:

Saturday was well spent too.
Met Rochelle at night and travelled to Vivo together, caught 'The Leap Years' finally, some scenes were quite touching. (:
Slacked at my house vicinity and chatted.
Sent her off to meet Ryan at around 1.30am.

Today's church was quite boring :(
Was all crappy till evening time, my mood went down down down.
My phone's pissing me off, and everything else just sucked.
Wtfragrance.
LOL Barley yo.

Went home early, 7.30pm.
Bought chips slacked at playground.

On the phone with Rochelle now, and I realise that I can no longer multi task.

I cant forget what Rosa told me,
and I am trying to understand what Rochelle told me last night.
:/

Love Today, Regret Tomorrow.

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 13:45:53 GMT

Just a very short post will do,
pics will be up some other time okay? :)

Mission was awesome, instead of being all dull and boring, it turned out the opposite.
Cock was especially excited when it comes to the sexuality topic and when they showed the video of Ayo Technology.
She's feeling all smug just cause she discovered that Justin Timberlake's MTV earlier before, but hell, she got turned on even though the video was censored...

Alright, so Ang Ku Kuehs were successful today!
Apart from that, Ah ma gave me money toooo. :p
Came home and online till now, zzz.

But I guess I will be out later to catch midnight movie, The Leap Years.
Whooooooooohoo :D

Finally collected my Sim Crad from Sstarhub today, how I miss my old number : 8161xxxx. (:

I bought another PPG storybook anyway, I wanna collect all lehhh.
Walao I gotta delete my previous post otherwise LJ wont let me post this current post.
Stupid.

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 12:18:27 GMT

Not.

Today was cool, been meeting up with Jasmine pretty much lately :)

Im disgusted by my Chinese teacher, all he does is to haolian and haolian and haolian.
If you're really such a professional, go back to your institution to teach la!
Since you've claimed that our school fees are way cheaper (btw what are you trying to imply on), then why dont you jolly well go back to your expensive school to teach!
I dont believe they really respect you as much as you said please, laoya pok.
And the worst is, he's so freaking no manners.
Whenever I ask him if he had eaten his breakfast, or if he was having moodswings, he would ignore me!
Walao, our old teacher would reply me one loh ):
I dont know whats with hiring retired teachers these days...

But I still love eating breakfast in class though. :]

I think Im sick, my throat hurts and my head is partially burning. (if there ever was such a term)

Do you remember how we made it through the rain
Said together we'd remain, you and me, in love forever,
Never imagined we would go our separate ways
That my life would be a maze
Hoping to find you at the end

Can we just love again?
Kiss again?
I just wanna be us again
There's no reason to pretend
It's evident that I'm lost without your love
If we just hold each other close again
We can make it to the very end
Baby I will leave you never
I just wanna spend forever with you

If we give up our minds
And let the feeling that I have just take over
Maybe then we'll see
How this life should be
Before my heart
Falls apart
For you

Love defeats.
Love once brought joy, & Love's bringing two times the pain now.

Insignificant

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 12:30:03 GMT

Guess Santa wont be back just yet :(

Rode around with kick scooter in the wee hours of last night with cousins, very cool to make heads turn.
I've forged a new friendship with sis's boyfriend-gonna-be, hope he treats her well.

Today. My entire day was filled with bad thoughts, lousy feelings, shit attitudes.
Yeah, church did energise me but my mood went right down after awhile..
Had steamboat at Bugis, then walked around and bought alot of things.
Shopping and buying things always make me happy (even if it was temporal), but this time it just didnt work out.

Wonder what else is gonna happen tomorrow, any small thing would definitely drain me to the max of the max of the max.
Cause I've lost my source of strength and courage, remember?

Short post will do, fuck every form of creation alright.

To hate, is to forget?

Sat, 23 Feb 2008 02:00:51 GMT

Fucking dont know how I should feel.
Phone stolen.
Kenna scammed by the thief for two hours at least.
Fucker used my phone to send dirty messages to my friends.
Felt disappointed, upset, totally inexplicable. (Cause of some other personal matters)
Reported it to the police, low chances of getting it back.

which means =

Photos, Videos songs byebye.
Messages all gone.

Thanks Jasmine, for your company.
For drinking with me, for cheering me up. (:
Love you.

Went home with abit of alcohol effect, but still sober.
Took a bath and Dad fetched me to HG police station.
Homed an hour later and was calling my babes up.
Chatted on the phone with my sis for quite long cause she was at Ah Sam's place, maybe she's getting me a new phone.
Told her everything that took place, makes me feel better at least.
Just a little better.
Thanks sis, yeah it aint worth it at all.

Turned in at 1am.

Shit I feel like crying now, its not just about my phone.
Its about You, I've never ever expected this to happen.
Its so difficult for you to acknowledge me as your friend even.
You know it, you know I havent forgotten about you, you know it takes courage for me to initiate talking to you.
You know exactly how Im feeling, how can these months not let you know me well?
But yet all you had done, makes me feel that you're somebody I could never have recognised.
Yes, after so many months.
If thats what you want, then I really dont know you, at all.

Hi all, give me your contact numbers again ok?
I know I have done this just 5months ago, and Im sorry for doing it again.
Sorry ):

~~But 5 months ago, at least everything was so beautiful then.~~

Wed, 20 Feb 2008 02:17:14 GMT

Hellollollo, Photoshop is beginning to get quite challenging...
Walao I dont know how to do ):

Alrighto, let me concentrate now! :-0

My fears behind me, gone like a shadow.

Tue, 19 Feb 2008 11:53:41 GMT

Cock, now here's your chance to be the limelight.
Be grateful to me!

I love my babes veh veh much indeed :D

School was cool, slept for an hour in class.
Then played in the library for another hour plus.
Didnt really study for the entire day, the only proper lesson we had was chemistry.
The rest of the time was slackinggg :D
Love eating in class now (:

After school, went town and met my Sister.
Had my lunch and went to look for my bag.
Bought a volcom bag for $79 :)
Didnt get the one I wanted initially, cause it looked weird this time round.
Haha, was dead beat and bus-ed home.
:)

Wondering, yet again.
How you destroyed everything beautiful from my life.
How you left scars, so many of them.
I felt like you used me and left straight away, claiming that you did love.
But we both know, I didnt had an important stand in your heart.
Maybe I once did, but all fell apart after I thought it would remain perfect.
Leaving me now with so much resentments, regrets, hatred, imperfection.
Who ever said it was easy to forget?

The Sun's doing its job today, whole day was so full of sunshine.
Maybe that was the reason why I felt like hugging every single friend I was with for the entire day. [:

Was reading through old messages and I realised that many promised to be around, but only a few kept to thier word ):

Hoep comes with letting go.

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 04:42:44 GMT

There was always a side of me that I was never ready to show, believe me.

Been blogging very little lately, just couldnt fine the time ):
So yeah, let me spend abit of time updating now :)

On friday, had lit exam after school, waste of time!
Then changed, and went to this Christian bookshop with my family.
Spotted this book that I really love, 'Stumbling Toward Faith'.
Its about this girl, whose father raped her every night, saying that he was supposed to because God didnt love her, and that she was bad.
Imagine own father telling you : "If the Sun doesnt come up the next morning, its because it doesnt want to see your ugly face."
Wtf, thats exactly what he told her.
And being raised up in this kind of environment, she had to accept all these hurts that was thrown to her.
Her mother abandoned her since young, too.
And the story goes on, with her sad life.

But I didnt buy the book cause we were rushing :( Anybody want to get for me? takers? :)
HAHA.

Kays, so after that, went Town.
Shopped and found this volcom bag, gonna get it soon I hope..
$99, dont wanna take from Mum so I reckon Im using my angbao money :(
Caught Cj7 at night, quite funny (:

Yesterday had church.
It was quite fun, I was crappy all time!
Haha, helped out after church (:
Reached home, Sherman Hazel And Sherman's girlfriend was at my place.
Joined them for Mahjong and Banlak, until 10plus.
Went my sister's friend's house for gambling spree number 2 :D
Banlak all the way, won lost won lost won lost.
In the end Sis lost $70, I lost $10.
Haha, but it was very fun, cause the way they talk damn funny I tell you!
Laugh non stop manxz.
Home at 3.30am. :)

Today, couldnt wake up in time for church :(
So Im gonna stay home I think.

I was a happy girl, and Im gonna continue to be one :]
Why be so upset when you're leading life indifferent, without me.
Why be so upset when all these pain was redundant.
Why be so upset when I can be a happy girl, just like before, without you.

Eternal.

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 04:24:53 GMT

For the life I live,
I couldnt love for a day more.

Finally I've got time to update, so lets start off with CNY.
First day was good, went Dad's side and got red packets :D
Reached home rather early and decided to go catch a movie with Sis in the evening.
Caught Kungfu Dunk, niceeeeeeeeeee :)
Walked around town (although most shops are closed) till about 11pm.
Sis wanted to bring me to her friend's gambling den (?), but in the end didnt because we were both too tired.
):
Reached home at 12plus.

Second day, had gooood food at this restaurant in Changi with family, woooo.
Went my Mum's side, got red packets and gambled quite alot.
Haha, I love my cousins alottt! (:
Mahjong-ed and banlak, lost abit only, $15.
Phew.
Reached home at 3am.
Oh and by the way, my cousins stay at the same block as me :D

Yesterday, met Rochelle and Jasmine at Northpoint, walked around.
I found my long wanted perfume! But didnt buy it, having second thoughts.. ):
Bus-ed back to Rochelle's house, the rest came quite late.
Gambled, Steamboat, Gambled again.
At first I won quite alot, but in the end lost like siao when I became the banker, then in the end won $2. -.-
And the way we eat steamboat is quite hilarious ar. ^^
Shared cab and home at 11plus.

Bathed and went to bed, clueless of why, but I just suddenly had damn alot on my mind.
Couldnt sleep at all, until 5am.
Had a couple of very darn horrible nightmares, wtfffff.
(._.)^

Couldnt drag myself out of bed in the morning although I was really veryyy determined to go school.
(please dont look so shocked, if you dont believe can ask Jasmine or Rochelle!)
Was down with a splitting headache and felt very awful all over.
YES, I AM GENUINELY SICK THIS TIME ROUND.
:/
Dont doubt my words please!

So here I am, blogging and feeling bad cause I've not been going to school since last Monday ):

Whats eternal?..

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 07:35:20 GMT

Deleted my entire post, I dont know how do I put my feelings down in words.

Oh yeah, Happy New Year all.